When you run, run.

Don't just pretend that you're going to run and not do it. That's the job of other people, and they do it well. When you say you're going to run, actually do it, and do it with a fierceness that no one else has.

That way, when you get to the finish, and you got there first, you have the right to smile. To inspire people to do better.

And then you can finally look at yourself and say, nothing.

I died.

It's depressing when you just can't get everything done. You realize you have limits and you can only push them so far.

...well... it's that way for a reason.

But I had to prioritize, and this is approximately how it came out:
1. Not to go to jail
2. Be patient and understanding with wife
3. Keep a primary source of income
4. Church
5. Big side project
6. Sanity

I'm lucky I didn't relocate #5 too much, because if I had I think things would have fallen apart.

So I lost a side client and maybe a lot of money in 2006. But at least I know that I did my absolute best these last three months. I've bettered my work ethic and I've accomplished more than ever in my professional career, so I guess not all is lost.

What now? No less than a lengthy mental vacation in honor of my complete failure. I've resorted to gluing 40 year old sticks together and interior decoration. And it feels good. Like home.