Thursday, October 9, 2008

pouch food

People that regularly follow this blog are not likely to believe that I actually packed a lunch for myself today, so here's photographic evidence.

I didn't make the sandwich though. That was my pay for a night's performance at the Camellia Lounge. Darn good sandwich.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

the unwritten

I just took a shower and my mind is now filled with all sorts of new stuff. Curses. It all happens at once and then I never (seem to) have time to write it all out. So here are some short synopsis of things I hope come soon. I have a few other lists floating around that I need to combine up and get studying.

On perfection Each diamond that is for sale in the United States comes with a rating from the GIA Grading System that denotes its level of imperfection. At some point in the scale, about halfway up, you can't even see the imperfections unless you use a tool designed to discover them—a magnifier. So why is it that anyone would purchase a diamond higher up on the scale where you can't tell the difference with your own eye? Yet these sell all the time. People (myself included) are extremely intrigued by the very notion of perfection. When they zoom in, take a closer look, and still cannot point out a flaw, they are even more drawn in! So then, how much could happen, wether it's right or wrong or fair or not, to make hard choices... so you are blameless? What's possible?

On analysis So I think occasionally, yes. I analyze. Too much, some people have told me. Well, God gave us brains and we all analyze all the time, wether we like it or not. We can discover to whatever depth we please; it is our choice. The only fallacy in analysis is when we believe we have analyzed enough and have the right answers, and that we are "right" about any given thing. Hello fellow Christians! Are you really claiming to see, to know everything? In my shallow opinion, it is time to be humble, to behave, and to think enough to listen to God, and then think about what He says, and then listen again. (It's a pattern) And actually, on second thought, I might not have this all figured out. Maybe I need to think more about it.

On simplicity Then again, if analysis isn't for understanding's sake, if it's not for simplicity's sake, then why? What yield do we gain from complexity? People in far (-from-our-understanding) places over have discovered God without even the Bible. Is the truth ambient? Is it there for us to simply discover if we are looking and listening for it? By the way - if by "looking" you are using your brain to comprehend your life's experiences... that is analysis.

On meaning despite people (a follow up from my last post) Sometimes we are told things and we feel moved and inspired by The Truth that we receive while hearing them. Later they turn out to be told by a liar. Yes, we can be hurt and offended and we can choose to discount these things from people, frankly, being imperfect people. But does it have to discount the inspiration you received from your Lord, the source of all good things?

On forgiveness I've discovered the secret to forgiveness, for me, is found in this verse. Luke 23:34 Yah’shua said, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing."

a clean life

My experiences of 24 years help to form the current desires of my heart:

To hear God, to learn, to obey, over all;
And to love, and to exist for the benefit of others.

(Tell me, what other great pursuits exist in life?)

Distractions simply distract, from these things. Though one can't ever "arrive" by eliminating tangible distractions, it helps to have less to consider.

  • I want to have a clean, simple space, with few distractions, so I can breathe.
  • A place to sit with my legs folded, so I can think.
  • A desk to sit at (preferably one that doesn't tire me), so my hands can work.
  • Books to read, to learn from.
  • A computer with which to create, to communicate, to do.
  • Musical instruments. (I'm still discovering what to do with these...)
  • A deep, clear understanding of priority; God is at the top and my life should reflect so.
  • A deep, clear understanding of my finances, because God has tasked me to do well. (Matthew 25:14-30; and yes, I understand I'm taking this "literally", but there are many meanings to be had in these words, all of which should be heeded! Note the beauty of verse 23: "Enter into the joy of your lord.")

Oh, and time. I want to learn how to earn time.

I want to be more able to think, then I want to think more about producing "fruit", and then I want to produce more.

I fear that many Christians have an incorrect understanding. We think we can use words to do good things (some might also say "the will of God"), to help people, to save people. Meanwhile we are at least somewhat unaware that it is the meaning (which our words are attempting to explain) that inspires a change, not the words themselves.

We share with someone a truth, and they don't understand ("get") it, don't accept it. We conclude that it must be their hang-up, their fault. We have some sort of emotional reaction and then move on.

At some point, repeatedly observing ourselves, our own attempts or the (sometimes outrageous/hypocritical/non-sensical) attempts of others to speak words of Truth, we decide to give up on communicating this whole God thing and forget about the eternity of others. We end up right where Satan wants us, in complacency.

But The Truth is written in meaning, not words. God did not just leave us with a book that says "follow me", nor did He stop at "I love you". He sent Jesus to convey the meaning of Truth through action; the way He lived and the things He did, both of which accurately speak The Truth.

Don't you remember your mother telling you that your actions "speak" (!) louder than words? How about we first just understand that "actions speak". I would argue further that "life speaks"; something is communicated by simply how we live.

Words from the mouth of a person can only mean what their life does, or they are lies, hypocrisy.

My idea is to stop and allow God to saturate myself. I believe (in faith) that appropriate behavior will simply follow.

foray back in

I will be backing up the talented duo of James Kerridge and Jon Hecox

Wednesday, October 8, 9 PM
Camellia Lounge Portland, OR