Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Sunday, March 18, 2012

the last note

February 28, 2006.

I'm happy that you've decided to take some time and change things up. I felt that we needed a lot more time apart, back at the beginning of January when you first left, if we ever wanted to get things right again. So this is a good thing.

I think that the best respect I could have ever given you during the last couple months was the time I stepped aside and allowed us to think. I'm confused about why you think I didn't respect you. I know that the best respect you could have given me would have been for you to do the same. What was needed here was careful consideration and considerable patience from both of us. I'm sad that you don't realize what's happened here and the amount of time it would take to fix those things. Conversely, I understand that you are upset I'm not home as much as you'd like. So I do not blame you for wanting to leave. My best recommendation for this would be not to put a timeframe on things, but I suppose in your mind that is not possible.

I hope you intend on taking the camera system as a consideration for anything you felt like I owed you monetarily. If there is anything else you want, with the exception of my Grandfather's stereo, just take it. The storage unit also contains some items of yours, including some clothes. I'll go clean it out and make arrangements with you soon to get to you what's yours.

Call me if something changes that I ought to be aware of. I will be retaining the same numbers and emails addresses.

I'm genuinely sorry this did not work out as planned. This isn't what I wanted.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Someday, you'll be understood.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

well well well

There's a burn that comes from drawing lines and holding out. And I admit that I don't entirely understand what I'm doing. I sleep well but I don't. Lately this song plays on repeat in my head—something for the headache, I guess.

Monday, December 12, 2011

the preoccupied life raft

I couldn't tell you why she made the conscious decision to end up in the water not knowing how to swim, because she had to have at least known something about how useless preoccupied her life raft was. I mean, she was throwing the barbs in right along with the game show host about how silly this guy's book cover was. The dude's not quite solid... and she knows it... so why exactly is she still drinking this kool-aid? Was it just wishful thinking, or did she really think he was going to swim for them both?

He had wired his brain so hard with delivering his "showstopper lifestyle" pitch that he had failed to register a suddenly helpless girl begin to drown. A simple mistake in calculation due to an error in the formula—an enormous mistake, yes, but a mistake nonetheless, not much different than the near-sighted shight we all do from time to time.

That's why I'm trying not to rag hard on Shawn Valentino, because under the nonsense there is definitely an extremely likable and tolerable person. He's going to take enough of a beating from humanity, anyway, without my help.

But the scene is useful to point out the distinction between the sales pitch and the product. For the salesman—a stellar sales pitch can sell a less-stellar or even bad product. And for the consumer—you can go for a ride on a pitch, but on a pitch alone? Don't count on being carried to safety.

I blame it all on women—who frequently get caught up in the dazzle of the (sometimes truly) spectacular performance... and sometimes even by choice. They say that men think with the "other head", but let it be stated that women do this also, and just as much—maybe even more.

It should be no wonder that the men who come across this principal, and particularly those deep in longing for the suitable helper (identified as a need even in the first man—"it is not good that man should be alone"), it should be no wonder that these men sometimes drive themselves to ridiculous lengths in learning to pitch themselves. Perhaps some end up as better salesmen than others; the product remains the same.

So there you go babe... your near drowning is now all your fault. Better choices next time, yeah? God bless you.

Next question. What's more important—the product, or the pitch?

Thursday, November 24, 2011

tryptophan vol. 1

Is this how it works — we wait patiently on the Lord, and in time He connects the dots in our meager brains?

Happy Thanksgiving

Saturday, November 19, 2011


It's just impossible for me to manage everything in my realm at the level that I know is possible. So I want to achieve some level of quality—then, time for contraction.