Love was too much for me, and then I began to cave.
I laid face down on my bed, then I sat on the bed, then down on the hard floor. Crossed legs on the floor in the dark of a high-rise room with no lights and the curtains drawn. I sat in front of the tea I made from stale bags I've had for years, and I sobbed off and on, face down in my hands for about half an hour, "What am I supposed to do
what am I supposed to do
what the fuck is wrong with me
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!??????"
All these spirits, the room was thick with them and they were all having their own say with me in their raised voices, I paced in small circles and came right back around exactly where I had started. I reached down to put my face back in the tea, and I drank.
Things got quiet. I took another drink.
I was shown my chair, and so I sat down.
I then reached down and pulled my belongings up off the floor and put them on my desk, and then I sat there.
And then A Voice in my head spoke— "Do your job."